The Dauphin Falls In Love.

10:16 pm Uncategorized

The dauphin obviously was the sort of guy you could easily sway.  If you told him that he had killed your mother he would have put himself in jail. On this note we begin the story of the Dauphin’s search for the end of the common cold.

Bohemia’s factories no longer made clothing but common cold awareness trinkets.  The rate of the common cold in the world had risen .02 % and had decreased dramatically in Bohemia.  Setna gave the Dauphin a paper e-mail with a few links to explain why factories were changing so much and why this was needed.

Later that day, when the Dauphin finally has typed the excruciatingly long URL correctly…


“I don’t think Setna is here–you’ll have to telephone him,” said Athena, angry that the Dauphin had interrupted her violin practice by bursting into her room wondering if Setna was there.

“Hu, oooooh, yeah thanks dude,” the Dauphin said, running to go get his mobile phone.

In two minutes he returned to her room mid-conversation with Setna.  This is what Athena heard.  Setna refused to tell us what he said.

“Dude, thanks so much for these articles! I now know how to avoid breast cancer! Woah too–we’ll so own the common cold now.”

Setna spoke a bit.

“Like wow! Dude like I didn’t know that not wearing a bra helps to cure the common cold! Seriously, I never questioned why I wear one.”

Athena broke in, “Uh, you know you’re a guy, right?”

“Shut up.”

Setna spoke for a long time.

“I know man, like, dude, she’s always insulting me.  Oh, look a UFO, I better go.”

Obviously this was just the Dauphin’s excuse to end his conversation but Setna wasn’t fooled.  There was no UFO on the country’s radar.

“Athena, I see you’re like really busy but like I have to like tell you something I’m like so so so so so muk excited about this!”

She rolled her eyes, “What?”

“We’re going to end the common cold! Did you know that Dr Murky-Cola said that wearing a bra increases common cold risk one billion fold? And there’s research to back it, like wow! But the best part is how smart Setna is. If no one can buy new bras because they’re making common cold awareness junk then it’s like the junk is actually helping! And all the profits go to the military!”

Athena ignored Oliver’s newly “given-by-Setna” pet topic, “Huh? Why are you so excited about all the profits going to the military?”

“Well, we’re going to make an alliance with Egypt.”

“But Egypt wouldn’t even be able to help us–they’re so weak.”

“Oh, well Setna likes the idea. Say, do you wear a bra? I’m going to stop and you should too.”

At this point Athena shut the door on his face.

A few days later, at Bohemia’s national health festival…

“Girls and boys, aphids and grass, polar bears and hybrid ape-cow humans, may I present to you: His Holiness, the Dauphin of Bohemia!”

“Like I’m so glad everyone’s here like I wanted to tell you all how good oatmeal is for you.  But now I also would like to tell like all of  you to buy common cold awareness gifts so that like mein fu…I mean so that like our scientist can find a cure!”

The Dauphin paused to eat a spoonful of oatmeal.  He looked out at the crowd.

Foaming at the defiling mouth…is that Dr. Murky-Cola? This is the man who will cure all of the common cold without knowing it.

Slowly though, the Dauphin sinked back into being his normal not too bright self.

Well that’s all for now.  An *artist* has agreed to draw several comics for this particular story line.

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