Why Turtles Are Fake, Inspired by Clarence Cutler

8:31 am liesalladultstoldyou, liesyourteachertoldyou

So, apparently, turtles are yet another lie. However, it gets worse, since instead of a lie a teacher tells you, all adults do! Surely, you feel hopeless knowing that all adults would try to trick you.

Anyway, for the proof. First, assume that you almost never see turtles except for turtle shells here and there at your friendly neighborhood nature center. Second, assume that you can never see the turtles pointed out by adults. Now, since you’ve never seen a turtle in these cases we could deduce that turtles are robotic since they are. What if you did see a turtle? Well, this is the easy part. Go to your bookshelf and grab the toddler’s book on turtle development. Look at the baby turtles’ pictures.

Toddler’s book:

The Artist Who Drew This Deserves Recognition

Your eyes:

Don't These Look Like Plastic Toys?

I’m sure you are either convinced or laughing and trying to find a hole in this argument. Yes, you won’t find one.

– Oliver H.

Prof Oliver H.

Intro to Www.funcia.com

Feb 24, 2008

3 Responses
  1. asmallgoat :

    Date: February 25, 2008 @ 8:26 am

    LOL This is quite convincing!

  2. ooo :

    Date: April 2, 2008 @ 10:16 am

    the baby ones are soooo cute!!

  3. funcia :

    Date: April 2, 2008 @ 1:56 pm


    I believe you mean the plastic rainbow turtles. They’re called walkie bits and you can purchase them, even though they may be a bit expensive to get in the US compared to what they really are worth. Of course, this is also because there are variations of the toy(i.e. cell phone charms[talkie bits, just kidding] and things like that.) Oh, and it was named something like best toy in a 2005 Time magazine.


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